3 ways to get over your Imposter Syndrome

Do you find yourself constantly stressing about what others think of you? Are these self conscious thoughts and emotions preventing you from feeling confident? Does this inner voice make you react or behave in an unfavorable way? You are not alone. Imposter syndrome is not a medical condition but is a syndrome many individuals suffer with. In fact, when people are in a transitional phase in their life, like starting a new job, finishing school, attending college, imposter syndrome is more frequent.

Take a new psychotherapist or myself for example, when I was in my Master's program at Pepperdine University studying to be a therapist, I remember feeling very overwhelmed and like I was not “good enough” to see clients. As a student, you are required to conduct therapy to individuals, children, couples and adults prior to graduation. I remember feeling very stressed out and having this inner thought in my head. This inner critic found in imposter syndrome kept telling me I was not ready to help others during my first session. I remember battling with this imposter syndrome voice in my head telling me to stop and give up while my conscious self was directing me to suppress my emotions because the session is not about me! This might seem a bit confusing but in simple terms, I was mentally in conflict with myself. When I spoke to my fellow classmates in the gsep program, they reassured me that they felt similarly and that it was normal. Although I was reassured by them at the time, it did not make my sessions easier. It is nice to hear others empathize and understand your struggles but what I needed at the time was guidance on how to stop these thoughts when I was in session.

Since then, I have worked with multiple clients who struggle with imposter syndrome and as a psychotherapist and Pepperdine psychology professor in the Los Angeles, California area, I came up with a 3 step process to help anyone in this scenario.

First way is to acknowledge that this is really happening to you and name it. I named mine Bob for example. Bob is my imposter syndrome critic that tells me I am not good enough. Every time Bob comes up, I know I am not myself because I might be second guessing myself, putting myself down or a bit more emotional and not rational than my normal self.

The second way is knowing yourself and putting your ego to the side. Sometimes those doubts or imposter syndrome thoughts are present to help direct you in the right direction. Bob in this scenario might hint at me by saying something like “ you are full of shit”. You might not feel confident because you are not a robot and part of what makes you human is not knowing it all. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and be vulnerable.Remember, help doesn’t always need to come from a work colleague, it could come from an external person such as a friend, mentor or professional counselor or psychologist.

Lastly and final way is to Own it and give yourself credit for it. This can feel uncomfortable or unnatural to many of us but take credit where it is due and stop minimizing your abilities! I remember when I was in session and Bob was present, my imposter syndrome would tell me that I am not worth paying attention to. I had to learn how to silence Bob and remind myself of all the training that I have gone through. Think about a time someone paid you a compliment about your capabilities and how that actually proves your assumption of not being good enough wrong. You can even tell others about these things you have done well, achieved or learned and it will affect you similarly.

Finally remember that you are not in this alone. There are support groups and workshops you can attend or even see an individual therapist to help you feel back on track and in charge of your life. Schedule a complimentary mini session with me to see if I will be a good fit for you.